Evil Roger Simon pic courtesy of Darkblack
Anyways I'm sitting there in front of Mr Roger Simon the Sine Qua Non, The Without WItch of Nothing he's got this scary look on his face like
he's gonna cast a spell on me.
But instead Mr Simon says and now you meaning me must answer some questions for me meaning Mr Simon BatBoy and I guess the word some has a whole nother meaning for Mr Simon because he sure does ask lots and lots of questions and I answer all I can.
There are questions about the old country and how Mr Murdoch discovers me and flies me first to Australia and then to The United States of American Way. About becoming a media personality. About getting a job at The Weekly World News.
Then he wants to hear the story about how I go to the beach one day with some people from The Weekly World News. About Mrs Noonan "finding" me at the beach and "rescuing" me from The Weekly World News Summer Beach Barbeque and Luau.
About how we drive for three days and three nights straight without stopping even to go to the bathroom. About Mrs Noonan running the road blocks and avoiding the FOX attack helicopters until we come to The Ronald Reagan Presidential Library and Museum Store Complex where Mrs Noonan says they damn well owe her one.
Mr Simon says he only has a few more questions, and he asks me if Mr Harris and Mr Van de Hei know
what I'm up to and I'm not really sure what I'm up to myself but I says to Mr Simon that Lady Nancy
says I have to start writing blogging to earn my own American Way and Mr Simon looks
at me but then I say that the word Mr Harris says has come down from on high and Mr Simon sits up very
straight in his chair.
The word Mr Simon says and I says yep. Has come down Mr Simon says and I says from on high that's what Mr Harris says.
Well then Mr Simon says there's obviously nothing to be concerned about and nothing concerning this is obvious to me so I guess I'm still worried. But anyways Mr Simon is lighting a cigar for himself and one for me too even though I don't smoke Mr Simon says nonsense and gives me some more for the trip home. Mr Simon is all shiny and smiling again and it's too bad you, meaning me, have to go now Mr Simon says and you, meaning me need to stop in if you're ever down this way again and here's your meaning my hat and glasses.
Mr Simon says that he's sure you meaning I can find my own way out as he helps me out of his office.
I'm just walking past the nice lady at the big desk in the outer office when Mr Simon's voice comes out of a tiny box on her desk.
Miss Smith get me Harris and Van de Hei Mr Simon Says in his tiny box voice and put a call in to Master Drudge!
Miss Smith sighs and pushes a button on her little box.
Yes Mr Simon says Miss Smith and makes a face into her desk box that I'm pretty sure Mr Simon can't see.
There's a Monkey-hat guy waiting by the door to the big moving box but I guess I'm not hungry any more.
Sea Captain Butler drives me out of the city to the airport. We drive right past the main buildings and to a runway over on one side. The Plane is sitting there ready to go. When I flew here The Plane was all green and splotchy. Now The Plane is white with stars and grumpy looking birds all over the doors and tail.
Sea Captain Butler drives me to the ramp at the back of The Plane there are three of The Sargents there and we all walk up the ramp into the plane which is even more loud and cave-like than before. There's no earmuffs or black bag for my head now so I have the flaps on my hat down over my ears and I still have my cool glasses on too. Jesus kid yells one The Sargent over the noise of The Plane have you been smoking cigars?
I'm sure that The Plane is different on the inside from what it was before. I mean I didn't see much what with the bag over my head and all but it seems like there was more stuff to walk around last time. Now the whole big cave plane is pretty much empty inside except for this little house thingy in the center of the floor, all silver and shiny bolts. There's a grumpy, starry bird on the door here, too.
It seems like there was stairs last time but now The Sargents and me walk through the plane and up to a big door with a Sea Captain's wheel in the middle of it, just like in most of Mr Murdoch's underground vaults.
One of The Sargents points here kid The Sargent says this is the passenger section. Up against the wall is a group of people like before, I can tell that The Sargents have been extra polite to them because not only do they have bags over their heads so they won't be scared of heights but The Sargents have tied the passengers down with chains so they won't flail around and hurt themselves if they get frightened.
I go over and sit by them, they jump a little when I get close but then scoot over so I can sit down. I don't have a bag over my head like the other passengers do but they don't seem to mind.
I sure am glad to be going back to The Ronald Reagan Presidential Library and Museum Store and away from monkey-hat guys in moving boxes and witches or sorcerers with or without names and I'm thinking that I should of probably learned better my backwards latin and I fall asleep
I'm having a strange dream about witches I knew in the old country. Funny thing is they had all just decided to become witches of without clothing when somebody jerks me awake.
I can't see because it's dark and I still have my cool glasses on and I'm saying what is it and where are we and a man says shut up his voice is deep in his throat and quiet Jesus kid deep-in-throat man says have you been smoking cigars?
Mr Simon says I can have them Mr My-Name-is-not-Jesus-me says and deep-in-throat man says oh, he did did he? To answer your, meaning my, question Mr Deep-in-throat man says we meaning The Plane are just about over the Sierras and he takes the cigars out of my pocket and lights one.
Right then there's this huge Booooooooom!!!! Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech!!! like something big is tearing The Plane apart. Deep in throat man says Jesus kid and pushes me to the floor. My cool glasses fall off and I see that the little house in the middle of The Plane now looks like a sodacan that someone bit in half and all the chains are rattling loose on the floor.
There's this wind blowing inside the big, dark, cave-plane now and there's this whirling black darkness-thingy spinning there inside The Plane spitting out foul wind and jagged bits of metal with a noise so awful I can't tell you how bad.
Except, this one time, in the old country this man turned on this steam shovel and it slipped gears and ran down a hill and plowed right through this kitten farm.
This sounds worse and now it's coming towards us. HOLY CRAP yells deep-in-throat man CHENEY'S FREE!
He grabs my orange hat and jams it on the head of the passenger next to me, right over his black bag. Deep-in-throat voice man pulls the passenger to his feet and yanks the black bag up above the guys nose, he sticks the lit cigar in the passenger's mouth
Vaya Cohibas, you poor bastard!! yells deep-in-throat man, and he pushes the passenger towards the spinning jagged darkness. Deep-in-throat man yanks my arm and we go running toward the big bank vault door in the front of the cave-plane and now that I don't have my orange hat on I don't have flaps over my ears and between the sound of The Plane and the awful noise from the whirly-dark pool of pointy darkness I can barely hear the scream of poor bastard guy but what I hear is bad enough.
I'm so scared that I can't think or breathe and I trip and The Plane floor knocks the wind out of me and right before I pass out the last thing I hear is deep-in-throat voiced man pounding on the bank vault door and yelling NO MR VICE PRESIDENT and NOT HIM!! and WE NEED HIM and WHITTINGTON REMEMBER WHITTINGTON!!!
When I wake up again I'm in the medical bay of The Ronald Reagan Presidential Library and Museum Store Complex and it's six days later. Mrs Noonan is leaning over me and it looks like she hasn't eaten or slept in a week.
When she sees that I'm awake Mrs Noonan starts hugging me I'm so glad you're ok Mrs Noonan says I meaning she was so worried and she's squeezing me so hard I can't breathe again or understand what she 's saying something about Jesus and thanking The Exalted One and something I can't follow about dolphins and anyways i don't care I'm so glad to be home and I think I'll never leave The Ronald Reagan Presidential Library and Museum Store Complex again and why would I?
Update by BatBoy All of you reading The Politico have been very patient in waiting for me to make my update. I hope you understand. I’m sorry I delayed you, and I regret that I couldn’t have been here earlier so you could see what a lucky person I am.
For many years the people at The Ronald Reagan Presidential Library and Museum Store have been friends with The Politico over in Arlington, Virginia. We have visited with them for over 2 years and have had some wonderful trips and visits – pleasant memories that we'll cherish forever.
However, this past weekend encompassed all of us in a cloud of misfortune and sadness that is not easy to explain – especially to those who are not familiar with flying cross-country.
We all assume certain risks in whatever we do, whatever activities we pursue. And regardless of how experienced, careful and dedicated we are, accidents do and will happen – and that’s what happened on this flight.
I am very grateful and want to thank all the people that remembered me in their prayers and the kindness you have extended here this week.
Mrs Noonan and I are deeply sorry for all that Vice President Cheney has had to go through on this flight. We send our love and respect to him as he deals with illegal enemy journalists combatants and eco-tourists terrorists which are much more serious than what I’ve seen this week.
And we hope that he will continue to come to The Ronald Reagan Presidential Library and Museum Store and seek the relaxation that he deserves.
Thank you.
BB
amateur_mature_sex
Posted by: megadating | October 19, 2007 at 12:03 PM