Dr. Bobo and Mr. Toady

 

"There is something wrong with his appearance;
something displeasing, something downright detestable."

 

God, Republicans are saps.

That's David Brooks, conservative New York Times columnist, bitterly clinging to the ragged scraps of his tattered media-centrist regalia.

They think they’re running against some naïve university-town dreamer, the second coming of Adlai Stevenson.

Still hoping to pull off that "disillusioned with the GOP" bit, Brooks ostensibly castigates the Republican Party for being naive. Predictably, the column descends, rather quickly, into GOP smears.

But as recent weeks have made clear, Barack Obama is the most split-personality politician in the country today. On the one hand, there is Dr. Barack, the high-minded, Niebuhr-quoting speechifier who spent this past winter thrilling the Scarlett Johansson set and feeling the fierce urgency of now. But then on the other side, there’s Fast Eddie Obama, the promise-breaking, tough-minded Chicago pol who’d throw you under the truck for votes.

Ok, so now, in addition to his being a stone-visaged, Gandhi-like Terminator2™ liquid-metal uber-creature, Obama now possesses a Jekyll/Hyde split-personality, this is a fun game, let's try it out on Brooks:

But as recent columns have made clear, David Brooks is the most split-personality political pundit in the country today. On the one hand, there is Dr. Bobo, the woolly-headed, Buckley-quoting, faux-anthropologist, sallying forth in pith helmet and gaiters to study the rituals of simple folk living dozens of miles away in Red-state Virginia. But then on the other side, there’s Mr. Toady, the talking-points spewing, hollowed-souled, conservative propagandist for a political party that'd drive a truck over your grandmother to keep her from voting.

¡Ay, que divertido! ¡It works!

Next, Brooks lists a few of the things which, I am sure, have been such deal breakers for his support of Obama. Since he used to be such a big fan, and all.

Dr. Barack could have changed the way presidential campaigning works. John McCain offered to have a series of extended town-hall meetings around the country. But favored candidates don’t go in for unscripted free-range conversations. Fast Eddie Obama threw the new-politics mantra under the truck.

Blah, blah, bah, same to you, buddy:

Dr. Bobo  could have eschewed the incivil attacks that might pollute our precious political discourse in favor of right-of-center wonkism. But how is one going to get paid if one doesn't get in those talking points? Mr. Toady dehumanizes democratic political candidates by referring to them over and over as ruthless, inhuman, machine-like creatures.

 

Okay, look; Ciertamente, it would have been a whole new kind of politics if Obama had agreed to campaign with one hand tied behind his back, agreed to give up millions of dollars that he'll need to fight off attacks from this year's swift-boaters and voter-suppression efforts, and raise the standing of his republican opponent merely by appearing with him on the same stage, in a format more forgiving to said opponent, but who could say that it would have been good politics, or winning politics?

Otherwise, por dio, how could Obama's candidacy have possibly changed presidential campaigns, right?

It's unnecessary to deal with Brooks's whole column, most all of his pointed criticisms have already been debunked. Obama never promised to use public financing, and watching all the Republicans crying "no fair!" is a rare and derision-inducing treat. You can ask President John Kerry about the marginality of Republican 527s, and oh yeah, John McCain is in violation of FEC guidelines and is breaking the very same campaign finance law which he pushed so diligently, and which bears his name.

But half-assed GOP smears are all that Bobo has right now, so I don't think he's bothered by such factual contra-indications. At the least, his closing doesn't lend itself to such an interpretation.

Republicans keep calling him naïve. But naïve is the last word I’d use to describe Barack Obama. He’s the most effectively political creature we’ve seen in decades. Even Bill Clinton wasn’t smart enough to succeed in politics by pretending to renounce politics

Dr. Bobo, on the other hand, isn't even smart enough to successfully push dehumanizing GOP smears while pretending to disown the GOP.

Pfui. Frotacíonado gigante.